Lately I have been feeling a lot like this... (below) Thankfully I have an amazing sister-in- law that is able to put it all into words so perfectly. Enjoy
A Mom's Job.
As a stay-at-home mom, I’ve come to resent the question, "What'd you do today?" Odd as it may sound, I can never seem to come up with an appropriate response to fully describe the hundreds of tiny tasks that make up my day’s work. I usually end up responding with, “Oh, the usual,” fearing that the listener will assume I sat on the couch and ate ice cream all day. And while that sure sounds fun, anyone who has ever devoted 100% of their time to their home and their children, knows that couldn’t be further from the truth.
A stay-at-home mother’s job is challenging and chaotic, but to someone who has never held such a position it can be a little hard to understand. For instance, my husband goes to work everyday and completes the specific tasks that are required of him. He shows up at an expected time and he is free to leave at the end of the work day. When he performs well, he is given positive feedback, a raise, or maybe even a promotion. He is paid for his time and once he's accomplished a job, he can check it off his list and move on. It’s logical. It’s progressive.
Mothers on the other hand, cannot clock in or out of their office. They do not get time off, paychecks, or vacations. There is no such thing as “after hours” or a weekend. And she cannot resign or be fired. A mother is a mother forever.
While most of us love our jobs, it can be frustrating at times. Unlike a regular job, it is hard to measure the multitude of things that a mother accomplishes everyday. It’s not like she can write in a report that she wiped 2 snotty noses, cooked three meals, changed 10 diapers, and read “Brown Bear, Brown Bear” 4 times.
For me, I sometimes get annoyed that I work all day, but never seem to get anything accomplished. I mean, I clean the kitchen after dinner every night knowing that I will have to do it again after breakfast in the morning. I change my daughter’s diaper knowing that in a couple hours, I’ll be doing it again. I prepare meals, do laundry, put away toys, clean the bathrooms, pay the bills, and feed the dog just so I can do it all over again. Some days I don't even get out of the house except to take a walk around the block with the baby or to pick up the dog poop in the backyard. My work is that of maintenance. I keep my family clean, fed, and entertained, but sometimes I feel like all this achievement gets overlooked by a world so focused on money, numbers, and success.
So, as mothers, we must remember that success does not mean a corner office or a company car. It means finally vacuuming the cheerios out of the car seat or finding your child’s favorite stuffed animal hidden under the bed. It’s getting the washing and the ironing done in the same day. It’s surviving a trip to the grocery store with a squirming toddler and a long shopping list. It’s being on the PTA, cheering at your son’s soccer game, and finishing a science project the night before it’s due.
And even though we don’t get promotions, raises, or pats on the back, a mother’s work is the most important work in the world. Her little tasks add up to create a home that is an oasis, a community that is strengthened, and a child who becomes a responsible, happy adult. Her rewards come in the form of hugs and kisses, full tummies, smiles and laughter, sharing, learning, and love…
So the next time you ask a mom what she did today and she responds with, “Oh, the usual,” take a minute to give her a hug and say thank you. It's harder than you think.
-Holly Hoffman Spears
The Beaver County Journal
April 2009
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